Sunday, April 14, 2013

Hawaii, is it really a Paradise?

My answer to that is a big fat no. Sure to someone who maybe is stuck in North Dakota in the middle of winter might be say "Heck ya its a paradise!" but to me I just cannot bring myself to thinking that and I'm not even living there. Within the next month my husband should be receiving his new orders to where we will be heading at the beginning of 2014 and Hawaii just so happens to be a big possibility because of his job.  I have known this could be a our future for quite awhile and have not stopped hoping we would be the lucky ones to get Alaska or Washington. I know that may sounds really silly but let me just give you my way of looking at it. For one thing even though the Army does pack up and ship our things for me it will take it a month to get there, including our car. Two, we will have also ship our enormous dog there who is not built for warm weather whatsoever. Poor guy is going to roast. This will also include him having to go though a quarantine process and all of it coming out of our pocket which will not be cheap. My next reason is IT'S AN ISLAND! Its not like I can just pack up my little family for the week and drive home to visit or go visit some fellow friends who where stationed in a neighboring state. If and when my husband is deployed I will not be able to fly home and have the comfort of my family because it would be expensive and then having to find someone to watch my dog, what a mess! Number four is that everything is way more expensive there from paying rent to buying milk. Last time I checked it was $8 a gal. How in the heck can I afford that when we go through a gallon a week? Last but not least I am a not a beach person. I don't like to lay out on the sand and sun bathe. I hate swimming in the ocean. I am a mountain person at heart. I love my snow peaked tops on the horizon line. I love my bears and deers and cute little tree squirrels. So here are my reasons and why I am dreading to find out where the Army will send us next. Its funny though how I would trade in a bikini for a parka but if you think about it a parka hides the fat rolls a whole lot better. So tell me why do you think I should be happy if we do get Hawaii?

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

The Early Checkout

When you are either in the military or are married to it you know that moving around comes with the job.  It is this reason why I truly believe that you should treasure all the new found friends you make wherever you are stationed at.  Surprisingly two years, which is the minimum length you can be stationed at a base, can go by with a blink of an eye. So what happens when to those who are getting ready to move on to their new future and can hardly wait to leave behind what they have at the moment. Lets just say a whole lot of burnt bridges!  I can understand why they would be so excited to move away, especially when their new home will be closer to their family or even something similar to what they grew up with. But at the same time their eager actions tell those close friends that they are no longer important and that they were merely just a place holder till you get to your final destination.
Now what if your mind is all set and already living in the future but at last minute the orders are changed. Plans changing at a drop of a dime are more common in the military life then most people realize. Nothing is ever set in stone till it finally is in actual motion. This is the number one reason why you should not let get ahead of yourself and burn the bridges of those who you claim to hold so dearly in your heart. You never know when those you used to call friend but now call enemy will be at one of your future residences.
When the time comes for me to make a next journey I plan on trying to spend as much time as possible with those I love. I want my last days here to be like a sappy episode of Army Wives where there is a farewell toast and lots of tears! Thank God for Facebook and other social networking sites too because without them my hand sure would get very sore with all the handwritten letters I would be doing on a regular basis

Sunday, February 10, 2013

When Business Wives don't play nice.

I have been living in my small military community for over a year now and we have all sorts of work at home wives. The most popular business is Scentsy of course and then we have Mary Kay, Thirty-one, Pampered Chief, and Pure Romance. Most of these women try not to step on each others toes and understand business is business but every now and there there is always one or a few that get a little butt hurt. These are also the ones who will give up on their new found friendship over a customer who just wanted to switch or used another rep because they had what they were looking for in stock, or because one's customer went to another seller's party because they were friends with the host. Heaven forbid people shop at a sister store. I don't think that the Target down the street from me hates the fact that I also shop at the Target in a neighboring town. Sadly though I have been recently witnessing a friend of mine go though a tough time with her "rival store". This friend is a hairstylist who does her work from her home. To my knowledge there are 3 local wives in my community who do their salon work right in their house and to me think its a great idea because it makes it absolutely so convenient to us fellow spouses here. Well it seems that two of these ladies have now gained up on my friend and have been trying to ruin her clientele. In the past week they have stole 2 of her regular customers.  To me I believe that is just foul play and bad form. Personally I cannot give someone or some company when I know they are actually trying to ruin another. There are more then enough ladies to spare and share amongst them which my friend is so willing to do happily. When I have personally received private messages in late hours of the night trying to get my business when they know for a fact I go to someone else just seems shady then when they slander her to also get new business is just disturbing to me. It is hurtful and so disrespectful! Since becoming an Army wife I have strived to show nothing but equal respect to those spouses around me regardless of the rank or branch their service member is in. I believe it is my part to take as a military spouse and that all should keep it in mind as well that just because you get to relocate in a few years time does not mean you will never see these people again.

Monday, January 28, 2013

Peer Pressure

Now we all know the peer pressure will happen to us all the way through adulthood but the time it seems to affect us the most is when we are tweens and teenagers. You hear stories all the time through social news about children who were harassed by their peers and what sort of tragedy it may have caused. Most of the time I either will scroll through these stories or just pass them by without even taking a glance at them. I know I should have more interest in these sort of things especially since I am a mother of a 3 year old boy but I guess because of the fact that they are not happening right in front of me physically I don't feel like there is anything I can do about them anyways so why worry myself with it.  Recently I have been able to step back and think about how I view and feel about adolescent peer pressure. I live in a small military community where word travels so fast I barely have time to read about anything on our community spouse page before there is already 30 comments. The other day at the main park a mother witnessed a few teenage boys and one teenage girl hanging out on a park bench. She said that what she saw next was shocking to her. The boys where trying to get the girl to kiss one of them and film it with their cell phones and she said that the girl kept saying no but they wouldn't quit with bugging her about it. Now with in the first few comments on this thread the spouses were upset and how something had to be done about this. Some even asked why she didn't call the police for our community.  I was left reading this with mixed feelings. One half of me said "Who cares? This is just typical teenage behavior. Its not like they were being violent or destructive or even drug and alcohol" and the other side of me said "I'm a mother now why isn't this bugging me like it should. I do care for the girl's well being but why do I not feel like I should be in mommy protective mode?"  This is something that has been bothering me for a few days. It is like I lack the capability to give a crap sometimes.  Now I do know that if this was my child I probably would be acting a whole lot different and when I look at it that way my brain begins to make sense as of why my parents didn't allow me to hang out with guys by myself and that I always had to have a girlfriend of mine with me. I didn't always follow the rules of my parents and did the whole one girl hanging out with several guys but these guys as stupid as they would act never in any way to harm me whether physically or through extreme emotion. This could also be why I don't feel like she was in harms way. Kids do dumb things and since she didn't give into peer pressure and kept to her "no" it makes me feel like she was going to be fine and that she was smart enough to get out of there if things began to make a turn for the worse. The biggest step to fighting the pressure is saying "No" and sticking to it. Who knows though, once I have a daughter of my own maybe just maybe I will become just like these crazy protective spouses here to kids that are not my own.

Friday, October 19, 2012

The friend Hit or Miss

I recently read a blog post by ArmyWife101 called Facebook Friend or Foes? and it got me thinking. Since my first Army move with my husband I have been having the friend or foe problem on Facebook.  Some times I feel like I am back in a new high school all over again. Where I am there are over 5 different Facebook groups for the spouses. When I first joined some of these groups I thought it was a great way to meet fellow military spouses who lived near me and make new friends.  I very rarely send friend requests out though due to my insecurities so I've always welcomed the ones who were sent to me which I soon realized after a few months in those who sent them were not the right people for me. They were drama starting, crap talking, mean girl types. It saddened me cause after I got to know them I realized I never really knew who they were in the first place then constantly questioned whether they really wanted to be a friend of mine and even wondered if I was some times their topic of gossip. Hitting that delete button was hard for me even though I knew they were not the right people I wished to be around. I feared that if they realized I removed them I would instantly be the highlight of their back stabbing conversations. The more and more I began to rethink these Facebook friendships with this small group of women the more and more I began to question others I had on my friends list that had nothing to do with where I lived or military life. I shouldn't feel the need to keep these people on my friends list if they show no real interest in being on it and act the exact opposite of how I feel about things. So now I believe I have some early spring cleaning to do.

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Goodbye Dear Friends

    Since becoming an Army wife almost a year ago I have learned more about true good friendship more then I've have learned in my younger years.  The worst part about meeting those wonderful people is how short they stay in my life.  I have only been living at my first installation for a little over six months and so far one has moved away and another will be heading out next month.  Its tough but such a learning experience.  With meeting new friends with every new place I will be I will also be meeting new enemies.  Its been hard trying to remember that having a wall up is okay when you arrive in a new place filled with bored stay at home wives. The drama can creep up onto your own door step when you put yourself out there to make those new good friends. It reminds me of high school all over again.  When you have those few good friends though to lean on you come to realize that you don't need to surround yourself with all the local frenemies.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Alice in Deadland

This is a new take on a zombie apocalypse that I really enjoyed.  The storyline was fresh and did not feel over used as some zombie books can go.

Alice was not like the teenagers that we would know today. Born after the Rising and living in a post-apocalyptic wasteland, her life only focused on one thing only. To kill any Biters that came near her small village.  But her life quickly changed along with everything she thought she knew when she came across a Biter with rabbit ears on his head and followed him down the "rabbit hole".

This story is a odd twist of Alice in Wonderland meets Resident Evil as this young girl fights against the true enemy of the Rising and of what is now known as the Deadland. I also get a slight Hunger Games vibe with having a young female heroin who stands up for her people. Overall I really enjoyed the book. It was a very easy read and had some good page turning parts! I gave it a 4 out of 5 only because I did feel that there were somethings I would have liked to be further explained and have gone into a better detail.

Alice in Deadland is a keeper and I recommend it to those who always like a little zombies in their life!

Tuesday, January 03, 2012

C'est la vie

This past year has not been like any other year.  So many things have happened and changed.  Not just in my life personally but throughout the whole world.  It amazes me every time that ball drops in Time Square NY how much I begin to reflect on the past 364 days.  For some 2011 was a very difficult year while for others it may have been their best.  As for me it was right in the middle. My small family may have had our struggles and hardships but there were many joys between them all.  I would have to say though that besides my only son's first birthday, my husband becoming a US Soldier was one of the proudest moments in my life!  Just like a parent cannot exactly describe the feeling they get when they look at their small child I too feel unable to describe the way I feel when I look at my husband when he is in uniform.  I know since he is still fresh out of Basic Training that he has not accomplished what so many service men in our country have but that doesn't change the way I feel! 

There are now so many new things we get to look forward to in the upcoming months.  2012 will most assuredly be an interesting one as we both start our adjustments to the US Army.  We have made so many new friends and collected wonderful memories in only a span of a few months but these will last us a lifetime! I am proud of every single one of the soldiers who enter my home as if they are my own family. The Army though has taught me as well how to be patient along with diligence and strength.  My life will be forever changed and I welcome every bit of it. So "such as life" or C'est la vie as the French say is now my new motto when it comes to how things are now since it seems with a military life comes a new change of the wind at any moment.

Friday, October 07, 2011

In the quiet words of the Virgin Mary "Come Again?"

    It has come to my attention the amount of misunderstanding that goes on in this world.  Its frustrating and aggravating that one comment can be taken to a new height of  meaning.  A lot of times instead of stopping to think or ask one what they may have meant can cause a great disaster.  In today's society majority of communication comes in the form of written words on a social site, i.e. Facebook or Twitter, or they come through your phone as a text message.  We forget that through these forms of contact sarcasm, anger, happiness, and concern cannot always be heard.  If anything they are normally misinterpreted and feelings have been greatly hurt as a result.  Things like emoticons have been a great help in this problem giving one the chance to show how their statement is meant to sound if they were right in front of us.  They have also helped in reassuring others that what they read is in fact they way they took it.  Sadly the options of emoticons is not always available.  I love to use them on my phone but the program my phone uses for them can only be seen by the products that made my phone. So if I were to use one that stated that my comment was meant as a joke but a person using a PC instead of an Apple only gets rectangles and ** in its place they will be most likely confused and misinterpret my joke there for resulting in being offended.  I have been juggling in my mind how on earth can these mishaps be corrected cause there is nothing more horrible then having an upset friend for my bad placing of sarcasm. My answer for now is to just avoid at all cost and to post only in a monotone to keep the confusion at bay. My husband always says that it is better to keep our mouth shut then to say something you have to end up explaining to someone.  I'm beginning to think hes right.  Course I would prefer a friend to ask for an explanation because they don't understand then for them to be hurt behind close doors and not allowing the problem to ever be solved.

Thursday, October 06, 2011

Road Block

    Every now and then my brain feels like this Norman Rockwell painting.  I just cannot seem to think clearly or creatively.  My artistic side has been like this now for 6 years.  Even though I have had to urges to start sketching and painting again I just stair at the canvas or sketch pad with a blank stare.  I need to find some inspiration in my life or something close to it!  I think the last creative thing I painted was for my sister which she had framed and hung on her wall. You got to love your family members who will love your work with pride. Just like a mother with a her child who will put any art work they have done on the fridge.  When I was in high school my art teacher made it easy to have inspiration since it was all part of her job to give us new things to do.  Some times I wish I still had her around to give me a new project.  I just need to stop dreaming and start doing!  Anyone possibly have some ideas for inspirations for me I'm all ears.

Sunday, October 02, 2011

Our Past and the Baggage it Leaves in the Attic

     Baggage in our Attic is not always something we like to realize is there.  It has taken me awhile to even notice it was hiding up there and even longer for me to clear it out!  My past may not be as "horrible" or "tragic" as some others my have but it was still not a lovely past even though it was only 4 years of my life.   It has caused me issues that have made me paranoid and insecure.  I know struggle with the fear of no longer being loved, and  I sometimes miss interpret a cancellation as that person ditching me.  I know it sounds pathetic and slightly immature but it happens.  I am also an extremely jealous person thanks to my past.  Its funny how we never let certain things have an effect on us till we go through an experience.  Fear of rejection is in many of us. Even if we do have people around us who care and love us we still fear it.  Constantly looking for reassurance from them to know they will stand by us.  Even with the reassurance we still struggle with it like a disease.  It has brought me to tears at times.  These fears have also lead me to make some bad decisions in my life.  I still have to remember to think twice before going off my emotions and fears in choices I make.  This is apart of growing up, learning how to deal with this. Every day I need to remind myself to clean my Attic. On the days I don't, are the days I struggle with them and brings me tears and depression! First step to healing is the recognition to the problem!

Friday, September 30, 2011

The Love Fail

   I have been laying here in bed for the past 20 mins watching the first Harry Potter and I could not for get a conversation I had earlier this evening with a dear friend of mine.  It was more like a friendly disagreement, mainly me disagreeing how he viewed his love life or the lack there of.  It and will always be hard for me to understand why someone would desire to live without a companion in Love! Sure you can always have a healthy sex life, it may not be with the same person day in and day out but hey at least you're getting some right? It boggles me how that would be good enough in someones life.  I honestly feel he is so afraid of Love that he will keep it so out of reach because of the fear of a broken heart. Whether he is afraid of breaking ones heart or his own I do not know, maybe its both. Who could blame him. Anyone who has been in love and has received or given the broken heart knows how enjoyably it really isn't.  I know though that this fully grown man has more love to give then even he probably knows.  To any of his friends he is loved by them all and will be highly talked about with nothing but respect!  But is love from friends and relatives good enough?  Some may say it is, I personally feel that for 99% of this world cannot live without the intimacy of it.  People die for it for crying out loud. It is a very powerful thing, so powerful it can cause fear.  So he says why miss out on the chance from learning and having new adventures with others since that is how he feels when you are committed and tied down to just one person.  Oh but my dear the adventures and the journeys you can have with that one person will be better then anything you can ever dream!  I honestly cannot say I can live without the man I love, it would be a terrible lie.  There have been days that I felt I could walk right out that door and never look back with not a pain in my heart, but after the dust settled that would be a lie as well. I would probably curl up on my bed and stay there till my heart was as close to being healed as it could be.  To say my life would end would be a overstatement but hell it sure would feel like it for a very long time!  In the long run it would totally be worth the heartache when weighed against all the joy the love gave me. Love would surely out weigh the heartache by far!   Fear of the love ending and not following through would cause a bigger regret then falling in love and losing it!  Believe me I have gone through my share of mistakes and Love losses and even though there is one in particular I do regret all of it has brought me nothing but knowledge and wisdom along with a life filled with wonderful memories!  Never stop looking for that "true love" they do exist and will come when you least expect it! Never take it for granted, and live it to the fullest because you never know when it will depart ways with you, whether in death or just because of growing paths that split.