Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Old Faces Comes Old Memories

You always know that when you go to a place where everyone else in the city goes you are bound to run into someone you once knew.  Well that just so happened to me today.  I have gone to this grocery store I don't know how many times since I've moved back to my home town and surprisingly not once have I ran into someone that I would prefer not to run into, but on this particular day I did.  With in minutes of me entering the store I spotted my ex-mother-in-law.  Now she has always been nice to me even after the divorce but since the rules of my ex-husband had changed due to my recent move back I know that she was not exactly permitted to befriend me or anything in that sort.  So there she was heading towards my direction and has not yet detected my presents.  I had a choice to make, do I turn away in hope she does not notice me at all or if she does know that I am there wonder why I didn't say anything to her.  Do I let her notice me in hope that she will acknowledge me and say hi or do I just take the chance to greet her with a hug hoping she accepts it? Well I took the chance and sure enough she accepted it whether she really wanted to or not.  I will never know what exactly she was thinking but I can say that it was a pleasant run in.  I enjoyed showing her a picture of my son as we did a little catching up.  Sad to say though that what I told her today will get back to my ex and everyone else who was once a friend which even though I would prefer him not to know how great my life is doing or what is happening in it I am okay with it cause I did get to see one person that I sadly missed.  I cannot believe I actually still struggle with missing the people who were once in my life and how quickly they seemed to drop me but yet I understand why it was done.  I mean how many women out there still go and hang out with their ex-in-laws whether it was a mother or sister.  But times are changing and I have witnessed some strange things happen in the world so who knows.

Saturday, April 16, 2011

When its all said and done

When it seems the dust has all settled and it's calm after the storm is it still really free and clear or is that just a false hope in our minds that everything is ok? Life gives us ups and downs how we handle the downs is up to us. We can pretend it's not there and ignore them or we can deal with them and try to make life better. But even when we do try to make things right the problem sometimes never really goes away. Life experiences are the best teachers! We take them grow and learn from them then use what we learned in future events. I pray every night that I will do only the best I can in times of troubles. That what I do in them is what's right and won't bite me in the end.

Friday, April 01, 2011

Friend Or Foe

There is a big difference between a friend and a foe but what if you are not sure if your "friend" is also a foe.  When do you draw the line and a friend becomes your enemy.  People say friends are forever but lets be honest, as soon as this person became your friend they were already on their way of becoming a foe.  Some people don't even mind having frienemies which has never made a bit of sense to me.  I have always cherished my friends and have tried to do nothing but be the trust worthy person they expect me to be, but it seems that other people have their own agenda when it comes to making their friends and most of the time only see what they can get out of it before they leave the person on the wayside wondering what they must have done wrong.  Sadly though this seems to happen to more women then men.  My husband always says you get women together and there will always be drama.  No matter how much that maybe true I have always strive to stay clear of it and believe me it isn't an easy task! So what do you do with the people you question? Do you address the situation to them or just ignore it and let they keep walking all over your emotions.  This happens more then we wish it to and happens to friendships that have gone unquestioned for years. So who is to blame? Do we blame ourselves for sabotaging a friendship or for not fixing things when we had the chance? Do we blame the friend who had intentions of never sticking this friendship out, who lied to us when asked if something was wrong, or for hating us for absolutely no reason?  These are questions that I have always asked myself.  I am also a person who cannot just leave things alone! Once something has happened I feel the need to find out why, to get some kind of closure.  If I don't sometimes these things will haunt me, linger in the back of my head for me to constantly think about when I'm all alone.