Friday, September 30, 2011

The Love Fail


   I have been laying here in bed for the past 20 mins watching the first Harry Potter and I could not for get a conversation I had earlier this evening with a dear friend of mine.  It was more like a friendly disagreement, mainly me disagreeing how he viewed his love life or the lack there of.  It and will always be hard for me to understand why someone would desire to live without a companion in Love! Sure you can always have a healthy sex life, it may not be with the same person day in and day out but hey at least you're getting some right? It boggles me how that would be good enough in someones life.  I honestly feel he is so afraid of Love that he will keep it so out of reach because of the fear of a broken heart. Whether he is afraid of breaking ones heart or his own I do not know, maybe its both. Who could blame him. Anyone who has been in love and has received or given the broken heart knows how enjoyably it really isn't.  I know though that this fully grown man has more love to give then even he probably knows.  To any of his friends he is loved by them all and will be highly talked about with nothing but respect!  But is love from friends and relatives good enough?  Some may say it is, I personally feel that for 99% of this world cannot live without the intimacy of it.  People die for it for crying out loud. It is a very powerful thing, so powerful it can cause fear.  So he says why miss out on the chance from learning and having new adventures with others since that is how he feels when you are committed and tied down to just one person.  Oh but my dear the adventures and the journeys you can have with that one person will be better then anything you can ever dream!  I honestly cannot say I can live without the man I love, it would be a terrible lie.  There have been days that I felt I could walk right out that door and never look back with not a pain in my heart, but after the dust settled that would be a lie as well. I would probably curl up on my bed and stay there till my heart was as close to being healed as it could be.  To say my life would end would be a overstatement but hell it sure would feel like it for a very long time!  In the long run it would totally be worth the heartache when weighed against all the joy the love gave me. Love would surely out weigh the heartache by far!   Fear of the love ending and not following through would cause a bigger regret then falling in love and losing it!  Believe me I have gone through my share of mistakes and Love losses and even though there is one in particular I do regret all of it has brought me nothing but knowledge and wisdom along with a life filled with wonderful memories!  Never stop looking for that "true love" they do exist and will come when you least expect it! Never take it for granted, and live it to the fullest because you never know when it will depart ways with you, whether in death or just because of growing paths that split.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Last Letter to Change my World



    My last and final letter was mailed out today to my husband.  Less then 2 weeks I will be able to give him the biggest hug that has been building up for the past 9 weeks.  Life changing experiences are at foot. The wind is changing and its changing fast. Before I can say "Bob's your uncle" I will be getting ready for my first military move, which is an experience within itself!  I have always been the one planning and packing my past moves.  Having an actual company come into my home and take my own belongings, place them into boxes, then put them on a truck only having me supervise sounds like heaven to me! Course I might just bake some nice home made cookies the night before along with getting bottled water for them and order them some lunch as well. It is always good to treat those who serve you with respect and gratitude!  Just like your food you dont want it to get spit on, or in this case broken or lost.  I do plan though on driving myself and my son with a few belongings to our new home which luckily is only a 7 hour drive.  My future is so far yet so close and Im anticipating every moment of it!!

Thursday, September 15, 2011

How time does fly

     It has been 3 years today since my husband and I said "I do!" and a total of 6 years together for our commitment to each other.  You never quite realize how fast everything happens when you are younger.  I remember when I was a child how a year would feel like a millennium and the age I am now I used to think was "old".  When in fact time never passes any slower or faster then it actually feels.  When I look at my son its like watching time move.  Everyday there is something new and different about him! He grows and learns with each minute that passes.  You begin to learn new things as well, more wisdom, heartache, and happiness. It is like Love is also on a parallel line with time only the line thickens as it grows with the time line. I have less then a month till I see my husband again and I count every second that ticks by.  Not taking anything for granted.